Romancing Ruth (part 1)

It may seem a little strange that, in the midst of our study of "The Hard Sayings of Jesus" and specifically Jesus' teaching from the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) that we would take that moment to do Disciplemakers' first ever Old Testament book study and cruise through the book of Ruth (and in one class period no less! Not bad considering Acts took the better part of a year). But considering the next two lessons in our major study are both on adultery and sexual sin (Matt. 5:27-30 dealing with lust on Oct. 21 and 5:31-32 with divorce on Oct. 28) it seemed like it might not be too bad an idea to look at romance done right. And that "no OT book study" thing had been bugging me for a while so Ruth seemed a logical choice. So basically having read the whole story from the book, here's what we found out about what it takes to have a godly romance:

1. Godly romances come about from imperfect situations with imperfect people. (1:1-5)

This is an encouragement to me personally. My family situation and history are far from perfect and the mistakes I've made along the way regarding romance are legion (and, in some cases, legend). Many of you could probably say the same thing. But if it took perfect people and perfect situations to make godly romances none of us would even know there was such a thing. Because none of us is perfect. This should be an encouragement to you as well.

In the Scripture passage, Elimelech made a bad decision for his family. He left the promised land because of a famine. The Bible even tells us he was from Bethlehem, which means "House of Bread," a place where one ought to be able to find prosperity if ever there were one. And yet, he took the same path that led the patriarchs into slavery so long ago and went to a foreign land populated by a very pagan people to find food. Instead, he found death for himself, Moabitess wives for his two sons (something that is pretty clearly prohibited in Scripture--a Moabite could not even enter the assembly of Israel; Deut. 23:3) and ultimately, his sons' deaths as well, leaving his widow Naomi alone with her daughters-in-law. Doesn't really look like the picture of godly romance, let alone godly anything, does it? And you know what? It actually gets worse. Not only does godly romance involve imperfect people and situations but...

2. Godly romance involves a need. (1:6-13)

We'll develop this idea a little bit more in the weeks to come but there seems to me to be a pretty clear biblical notion that those whom God has called to marry are people who truly need a spouse in order to see His purposes accomplished in their lives. Paul says avoiding immorality is one reason for this (1 C0r. 7:1-9) and Jesus makes it clear that not everyone can actually be single and live up to God's calling for their lives (Matt. 19:11). So, for those who struggle with immorality and to whom it has not been given to be single, marriage is the norm. In fact, marriage appears first in the book of Genesis as a means of accomplishing God's first command to mankind: "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; and rule..." (Gen. 1:28). This explains why God doesn't think that it's a good thing for Adam to be alone and makes Eve his wife as a "helper suitable to him" (Gen. 2:18). Only through their marriage could God's purpose be accomplished in them.

In Ruth, the need is more immediate and personal. Naomi has no sons to support her in her old age and Orpah and Ruth have no husbands. In that day, not many women had trades so the women faced the very real possibility of not surviving the death of their husbands and sons. No wonder when Naomi returns home to Bethlehem she tells her friends not to call her "Naomi" meaning "pleasant" but "Mara" meaning "bitter" (1:20).

The system of levirite marriage in the Old Testament allowed for the brother of an Israelite who died and left a childless widow to marry the widow and raise up children who would be counted as his brother's. In this way, the inheritance of the tribes of Israel would be secure and none of the tribes or families would be lost (in Judges 20-21 a civil war almost destroys the tribe of Benjamin and it is considered a terrible tragedy, for example). But Naomi had no more sons to give Orpah and Ruth and no husband to even produce any more sons. So she tried to send them away(1:8-13) . Orpah was not happy about it but she obeyed (1:14). But Ruth saw beyond the needs of imperfect people to something greater...

3. Godly romance requires faithful devotion to God. (1:15-18)

Ruth 1:16b gets read at weddings a lot: "Wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God." And with good reason. Just as Ruth's devotion to Naomi meant she would share in all that belonged to her mother-in-law, the good and the bad, so too do a husband and wife make such a commitment "for better or for worse."

But what caused Ruth to be so devoted to Naomi? Well, admittedly the text doesn't say for sure but I think we can find a clue in her devotion to Naomi's God expressed above. No doubt both Orpah and Ruth had started worshipping Yahweh the true God instead of the pagan gods of the Moabites when they married Mahlon and Chilion but Orpah could still turn back to her old lifestyle of pagan worship (1:15). Ruth could not. She had nothing to gain from staying with Naomi but something was different about Ruth that made her want to be with her mother-in-law and be among the people of God. I believe that the only good explanation can be that in her dealings with these worshippers of the one true God, Ruth had entered into a true saving relationship with Him. It changed who she was and left her with no choice but to see her relationship with Naomi through to whatever end. Her character is clearly that of a child of God. In fact, that's the next point on godly romance. But for that, sadly, you'll have to wait until the next installment...

Come back and read the rest soon! And join us Sunday for more on God's view of romance, marriage and sex. We really can do it right and see His blessing on our marriages. And, as we found out in Ruth, God can do more with marriages founded on Him than we could possibly ever imagine.

Love ya!
Barry