Hi all!
On the 23rd of this month (Easter Sunday) I'll be doing a special class where I'll answer as many questions on the Bible, theology, the church, etc. as I have time for. All I ask is that in the next couple weeks you email me your questions (or you can send them to me on Facebook) so I can study up for them. The Q&A session is kind of a "wrap up" to my time with the DMs. That will also be my final Sunday with the class. I can't even tell you all what joys I've received from being a part of this group and ultimately leading it! There have been some struggles and pains along the way as well but I wouldn't trade any of it. I can honestly say that I'm a better man and a better minister for my time with each of you and I thank God for you all.
This coming Sunday (Palm Sunday, the 16th) I will be presented to the congregation at Flat Rock Baptist Church in Louisburg and they will vote on calling me as their youth director. Suffice it to say it's a big step in a lot of ways and God has already blessed me tremendously just in opening this door. I covet your prayers this Sunday.
Reid Powell (my co-teacher and a fine figure of a lad if ever there was one) will be taking over the reins of the DMs following my departure. He will be spliting the teaching duties with Aaron Dougherty (a stout hearted man himself). They will be assisted in leadership by a few others and I'm excited to hear how God uses the whole bunch of them in the months to come!
God bless you guys. I'm going to miss you more than you know (probably more than I know). I'll still be in the area so I'm sure we'll see each other from time to time but it is the nature of life that we move on and grow and God brings us to bigger and better things. If you think about me, it'd mean a lot if you said a little prayer as I can use all the prayers I can get (and pray for the ones who really need it--those poor kids who will be stuck with me as their youth minister!). I say it all the time but it really is true: I love you all, very much. We're family and it wouldn't have been as great as it was without a single one of you. Be blessed!
Your brother,
Barry v.
(Prov. 3:5-6/Matt. 6:33)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
As we wait even longer for part 3 of Ruth...
I thought maybe this model of courtship from the emu might help us out some.
Or maybe not.
;-)
Barry v.
Or maybe not.
;-)
Barry v.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Exciting Times
The other day Ronda said to me, "It's an exciting time." She was talking about what God is doing among us, particularly with Disciplemakers. I had to agree with her. There's been a lot of questions lately about the future of the class (prompted, and sometimes even posed, largely by myself--and btw I'll get the end of the Ruth study published one of these days, really!). Who's going to be leading the group in the near future (since most of you probably know by now that it's looking more and more like my time with the group is coming to an end)? Where are we going as a group? Should we start thinking about breaking up or merging with another class?
Those of you who have been with the group for some time know that change has always come with the territory for the DMs. That's something most Sunday school classes don't deal with quite as much as we have, although it tends to be more common in singles ministry. With the DMs, change is always such a significant thing because every person in the class contributes so much and because we've always been a pretty tight-knit group. All of us have good friends beyond the class. Many of us have our best friends outside the group but there's still something special about Disciplemakers. Something about the way the way we pray together, something about the heart for ministry that guides so many in this group, something about the way we've never fallen into cliques or "sub-groups".
We used to say that it was the fact that Disciplemakers was a group for "misfits"--that what made us unique was that we were the guys that didn't fit in with the mainstream of church so well. There was a sense of belonging with the DMs that these people just didn't find elsewhere. That's not to say that Disciplemakers was necessarily better than any other group but that the DMs had a niche that no other group seemed to meet. The DMs were (and are, I think) characterized by people that wanted to "go deep"--in the Word, in ministry, into the unsearchable richness and vastness of God and His glory. And unfortunately, those people will always be the misfits, even in the best of churches.
And when those people get a little deeper and grow a little more, what happens? God pulls them onward and upward to bigger and greater things. And so, tenures in Disciplemakers tend to be short compared to other groups. Especially when you consider that often the ones leaving are not the uncommitted but the ones that are the most plugged-in. Sometimes it's new ministries. Sometimes it's new relationships (a good young singles ministry should always be doomed to that fate to a certain extent). Sometimes it's just time. It's sad sometimes, frustrating even (especially so for the guy at the podium, believe me) but if you see it for what it really is, you start to agree that it really is exciting.
So here we are, on the verge of yet another big shakeup and I see God very clearly and deliberately raising up again the men and women who will lead this group. In the weeks and months to come, leadership is going to change and change big time. New people are coming in and a few of us who have been in leadership for a while are going out. But it's not the first time and it likely won't be the last. You'll be hearing less and less from me in the teaching spot (Yeah! Now's the time to start showing up more regularly! :-) ) and hearing more from Reid and Aaron D., who's offered to step up to fill the teaching void when it opens up. You'll likely be hearing from Austin and maybe one or two others from time-to-time as well. March 9, after the birthday lunch, leadership will meet and we'll discuss the vision of the class for 2008. Then we'll pass it on to the class at large, hopefully that next Sunday (the 16th). Our vision will be tied to the church's mission to "FIND those who need Jesus, FEED all on the Word, until we are FULLY established in Christ," and to Disciplemakers' past. And it will reflect the gifts and the talents of those in the class (this means YOU!).
So really, is it any wonder why some of us are so excited? If you can't feel that excitement yet, I pray that in the weeks to come, you will. Our God is so good and so big and so capable, and all we really have to do is be faithful to Him and seek His will and His glory and He does the rest (Reid, if this sounds like your Sunday school lesson from last week, it's because I slightly stole it from you. Thanks!). And as if He wasn't good enough for all that, He gives us brothers and sisters to share the journey with and blesses us all by giving us the opportunity to know and love and serve Him and to tell others about Him. How can you not love and trust and give your all for a God like that? So let's do it, whether together as a class or in whatever situation to which He brings us outside the group.
I love you guys, each and every one of you, DMs new and old, those still with the group and all those beloved brothers and sisters who have moved on. I can't even say how much this group and all of you have meant to me over the past two years (has it only been two years? It seems like I've lived the best years of my life with this group!). I love you from the bottom of my heart. And I pray God's blessings upon you. He is so great and we are so small and yet He loves us more than anyone else ever could. So let's keep following and praising and loving Him and trust Him for the rest.
And oh man, is it going to be a fun ride!
:-)
Those of you who have been with the group for some time know that change has always come with the territory for the DMs. That's something most Sunday school classes don't deal with quite as much as we have, although it tends to be more common in singles ministry. With the DMs, change is always such a significant thing because every person in the class contributes so much and because we've always been a pretty tight-knit group. All of us have good friends beyond the class. Many of us have our best friends outside the group but there's still something special about Disciplemakers. Something about the way the way we pray together, something about the heart for ministry that guides so many in this group, something about the way we've never fallen into cliques or "sub-groups".
We used to say that it was the fact that Disciplemakers was a group for "misfits"--that what made us unique was that we were the guys that didn't fit in with the mainstream of church so well. There was a sense of belonging with the DMs that these people just didn't find elsewhere. That's not to say that Disciplemakers was necessarily better than any other group but that the DMs had a niche that no other group seemed to meet. The DMs were (and are, I think) characterized by people that wanted to "go deep"--in the Word, in ministry, into the unsearchable richness and vastness of God and His glory. And unfortunately, those people will always be the misfits, even in the best of churches.
And when those people get a little deeper and grow a little more, what happens? God pulls them onward and upward to bigger and greater things. And so, tenures in Disciplemakers tend to be short compared to other groups. Especially when you consider that often the ones leaving are not the uncommitted but the ones that are the most plugged-in. Sometimes it's new ministries. Sometimes it's new relationships (a good young singles ministry should always be doomed to that fate to a certain extent). Sometimes it's just time. It's sad sometimes, frustrating even (especially so for the guy at the podium, believe me) but if you see it for what it really is, you start to agree that it really is exciting.
So here we are, on the verge of yet another big shakeup and I see God very clearly and deliberately raising up again the men and women who will lead this group. In the weeks and months to come, leadership is going to change and change big time. New people are coming in and a few of us who have been in leadership for a while are going out. But it's not the first time and it likely won't be the last. You'll be hearing less and less from me in the teaching spot (Yeah! Now's the time to start showing up more regularly! :-) ) and hearing more from Reid and Aaron D., who's offered to step up to fill the teaching void when it opens up. You'll likely be hearing from Austin and maybe one or two others from time-to-time as well. March 9, after the birthday lunch, leadership will meet and we'll discuss the vision of the class for 2008. Then we'll pass it on to the class at large, hopefully that next Sunday (the 16th). Our vision will be tied to the church's mission to "FIND those who need Jesus, FEED all on the Word, until we are FULLY established in Christ," and to Disciplemakers' past. And it will reflect the gifts and the talents of those in the class (this means YOU!).
So really, is it any wonder why some of us are so excited? If you can't feel that excitement yet, I pray that in the weeks to come, you will. Our God is so good and so big and so capable, and all we really have to do is be faithful to Him and seek His will and His glory and He does the rest (Reid, if this sounds like your Sunday school lesson from last week, it's because I slightly stole it from you. Thanks!). And as if He wasn't good enough for all that, He gives us brothers and sisters to share the journey with and blesses us all by giving us the opportunity to know and love and serve Him and to tell others about Him. How can you not love and trust and give your all for a God like that? So let's do it, whether together as a class or in whatever situation to which He brings us outside the group.
I love you guys, each and every one of you, DMs new and old, those still with the group and all those beloved brothers and sisters who have moved on. I can't even say how much this group and all of you have meant to me over the past two years (has it only been two years? It seems like I've lived the best years of my life with this group!). I love you from the bottom of my heart. And I pray God's blessings upon you. He is so great and we are so small and yet He loves us more than anyone else ever could. So let's keep following and praising and loving Him and trust Him for the rest.
And oh man, is it going to be a fun ride!
:-)
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Dream girl
First of all, no I haven't forgotten about part 3 of the Ruth study. It's coming. But first, let's skip ahead to what we did this past week. As you may have already read, Mike got the girls to list the qualities they were looking for in a guy (and if you haven't read it, click here:
http://disciplemakersnc.blogspot.com/2007/11/mr-right-giggle.html especially if you're a single guy; shout out to Ronda for copying it all down and passing it on so it could be posted). I don't know about the rest of the guys but I've been convicted by what was up there and I think it should serve as a great challenge to all of us (and while I certainly think we've got several girls who fit with most of the qualities the guys listed, I'm not sure any of us measure up to the girls' list so we've got a lot of work to do).
Speaking of the guys' list, here it is. I tried to boil it down a little to things Christian guys were looking for on the whole so it doesn't include specific preferences like an Irish lilt or that she's tall (both of which were mentioned in the group; personally, I would add "highly intellegent" as one of mine). Mike said the girls' list was better so maybe I shouldn't have done that but anyway, let's take a look at what we got from the guys:
Physically attractive*/comparable (with regard to things like height, especially)
Common sense of humor
Modest/demure (in appearance and behavior)
Submissive (seeking to follow God; willing to follow husband; flexible)
Supportive/exhortative of her guy (affirming; his "cheerleader")
Unconditional love (because guys can be kind of hard to love sometimes)
Not high maintenance (unselfish and uncomplicated; "quiet heart")
Similar interests* (either developed together or recognized in each individually)
Honest/having integrity
Wise/mature
Trust**
Focused primarily on God and the things of God
Domestic skills (particularly cooking)
Good potential mother
*These we said could change as a guy gets to know a girl. With the physical attraction, while that may not be very strong at first, a girl with an impressive character can become a whole lot prettier as a guy gets to know her heart and a physically beautiful girl can get ugly quickly if the character's not there. As for interests, the interests developed between two people within a relationship can be as important as those they bring to the table going in (although those give them a common ground to start from also).
**I included this one because it was offered up in the discussion but I think this is really a quality of a good relationship rather than a characteristic of a woman that a man would look for.
You know, looking over this list again, I have to agree with Mike. The women's list was better thought out. Basically (near as I can tell), a Christian man is looking for a woman who excites him, encourages him, enjoys his company and submits to God and to him. He wants a girl who's vulnerable enough to look to her man for support but strong enough to stand by his side wherever God calls him. She's his biggest fan and she always makes him look good (and wouldn't dare make him look bad). She laughs at his jokes and really believes that he could do anything he sets his mind to (so she encourages him to dream big). She's modest and doesn't have to draw attention to her body or be flirtatious or boisterous to get noticed. She's always honest with him but she's understanding of him too and resists the temptation to nag. Motherhood and the home are important to her and she's skilled in both realms. Most of all she's possessed with a passion for God and that is the only thing in her life that overwhelms her passion for her man. And she knows how to pray and to praise Him.
And how to cook. :-)
http://disciplemakersnc.blogspot.com/2007/11/mr-right-giggle.html especially if you're a single guy; shout out to Ronda for copying it all down and passing it on so it could be posted). I don't know about the rest of the guys but I've been convicted by what was up there and I think it should serve as a great challenge to all of us (and while I certainly think we've got several girls who fit with most of the qualities the guys listed, I'm not sure any of us measure up to the girls' list so we've got a lot of work to do).
Speaking of the guys' list, here it is. I tried to boil it down a little to things Christian guys were looking for on the whole so it doesn't include specific preferences like an Irish lilt or that she's tall (both of which were mentioned in the group; personally, I would add "highly intellegent" as one of mine). Mike said the girls' list was better so maybe I shouldn't have done that but anyway, let's take a look at what we got from the guys:
Physically attractive*/comparable (with regard to things like height, especially)
Common sense of humor
Modest/demure (in appearance and behavior)
Submissive (seeking to follow God; willing to follow husband; flexible)
Supportive/exhortative of her guy (affirming; his "cheerleader")
Unconditional love (because guys can be kind of hard to love sometimes)
Not high maintenance (unselfish and uncomplicated; "quiet heart")
Similar interests* (either developed together or recognized in each individually)
Honest/having integrity
Wise/mature
Trust**
Focused primarily on God and the things of God
Domestic skills (particularly cooking)
Good potential mother
*These we said could change as a guy gets to know a girl. With the physical attraction, while that may not be very strong at first, a girl with an impressive character can become a whole lot prettier as a guy gets to know her heart and a physically beautiful girl can get ugly quickly if the character's not there. As for interests, the interests developed between two people within a relationship can be as important as those they bring to the table going in (although those give them a common ground to start from also).
**I included this one because it was offered up in the discussion but I think this is really a quality of a good relationship rather than a characteristic of a woman that a man would look for.
You know, looking over this list again, I have to agree with Mike. The women's list was better thought out. Basically (near as I can tell), a Christian man is looking for a woman who excites him, encourages him, enjoys his company and submits to God and to him. He wants a girl who's vulnerable enough to look to her man for support but strong enough to stand by his side wherever God calls him. She's his biggest fan and she always makes him look good (and wouldn't dare make him look bad). She laughs at his jokes and really believes that he could do anything he sets his mind to (so she encourages him to dream big). She's modest and doesn't have to draw attention to her body or be flirtatious or boisterous to get noticed. She's always honest with him but she's understanding of him too and resists the temptation to nag. Motherhood and the home are important to her and she's skilled in both realms. Most of all she's possessed with a passion for God and that is the only thing in her life that overwhelms her passion for her man. And she knows how to pray and to praise Him.
And how to cook. :-)
Mr. Right *giggle*
Continuing our studying on the hard sayings of Christ, this past Sunday (Nov. 5) we looked briefly at the passage on divorce (Matthew 5:31-32) and then we discussed how to seek and start a godly marriage. Mike Rodolph lead the women's discussion and Barry lead the men's. In beginning the discussion Mike posed this question "what are you looking for in a husband?" After deep inner reflection this is what the ladies said, so pay attention guys.
Essentials:
Saved
Mature/growing Christian
Following God's will/ Led by the Holy Spirit
Makes me laugh
Can communicate in things both are interested in
Seeks wisdom from godly mentors
Wants a family
Good father
Good relationship with family
Stable in career (some girls put this in preferences)
Financially stable
Hard-working, diligent
Preferences: (some of these were given by individuals and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire group)
Intelligent
Height
Easy-going
Romantic
Considerate
Tidy
There it is. That's not to much to ask for is it guys. lol
Katie
Essentials:
Saved
Mature/growing Christian
Following God's will/ Led by the Holy Spirit
Makes me laugh
Can communicate in things both are interested in
Seeks wisdom from godly mentors
Wants a family
Good father
Good relationship with family
Stable in career (some girls put this in preferences)
Financially stable
Hard-working, diligent
Preferences: (some of these were given by individuals and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire group)
Intelligent
Height
Easy-going
Romantic
Considerate
Tidy
There it is. That's not to much to ask for is it guys. lol
Katie
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Romancing Ruth (part 2)
(NOTE: The first part of the discussion on Ruth can be found here:
http://disciplemakersnc.blogspot.com/2007/10/romancing-ruth-part-1.html )
Okay, so we've seen how godly romance involves imperfect people with needs and how it requires a faithful devotion to God but what does a person with that kind of devotion look like? That is to say, how do they behave in their relationships based on their commitment to God? Well, the answer to that question is found in our next two points...
4. Godly romance requires a woman of godly character.
(Don't worry ladies. The men will get theirs too with the next point. :-) )
As 21st Century American Christians, most of us are sadly just not all that knowledgeable about the Old Testament or the Hebrew roots of our faith. As such, many of us may not even be aware that the ancient Hebrew Bible--while it does contain the same books--is not arranged like our modern Old Testaments. We've seen how Jesus referred to the OT as "the Law [and] the Prophets" (Matt. 5:17). This is actually an abbreviated form of the Hebrew Bible, or the Tanak. The consonants of the word "Tanak" stand for "Torah"--or the Law, "Nebiim"--meaning "prophets"--and "Kethuvim"--meaning "writings." The Law was the five books of Moses, or the Pentateuch (Genesis-Deuteronomy). The prophets included history books as well as the major and minor prophets. The writings included the wisdom literature and the Psalms but also included some of what we consider history books such as Chronicles, Esther and--you guessed it--Ruth. The books in the writings were considered beneficial to memorize and are often recounted at festivals of the Jews, even today (Esther 9:28). (I know this is a little heady but trust me; I'm getting to a point here.)
In the original Hebrew canon, the book of Ruth is located directly following the book of Proverbs a book that ends with a discussion on "an excellent wife" (Prov. 31:10, NASB). The phrase refers to a woman of virtue and is in fact translated "virtuous woman" in some translations. The phrase only appears three times in the Scripture, once more in Proverbs (12:4) and in only one other book--again, you guessed it--Ruth. In Ruth 3:11, Boaz uses this same phrase ("woman of excellence" in NASB) to describe what he knows about Ruth. So consider this: when you read Proverbs and Ruth together in the ancient canonical order, the book of Ruth is introduced with a description of a woman who looks a lot like Ruth. And the book of Ruth serves as a model for the qualities found in the last several verses of Proverbs. You know what that means? That's right! Ruth is the "Proverbs 31 woman" so many books get written about! (Sadly, most of the people writing those books probably don't even realize this or have a clue about the connection between the two books in the older canon.) But, if that's the case, how do the lofty qualities of Proverbs 31 manifest themselves in the life of Ruth? Here are some of her qualities as demonstrated in her story:
a) The godly woman is kind with a servant's heart. (2:1-7, 11-12)
Ruth sees that Naomi was depressed and that they need to eat. So she asks permission to go work and glean in the barley fields for grain for bread (2:2). Naomi apparently hasn't done anything about their situation. She is bitter ("Mara") and seems to have lost all hope. But Ruth wouldn't leave Naomi before and she won't let her starve now. She's going to go and work. The Law allowed for the poor and sojourners in Israel to glean the grain that was dropped during the harvest to provide for their families (Lev. 19:9-10) and so, this is the track Ruth takes to provide for herself and Naomi.
Her kindness to Naomi and her willingness to serve does not go unnoticed. Boaz commends her and treats her very well for it. Apparently, he was attracted to her primarily on the basis of her kind heart (2:5-7, 11). Lots of women are physically desirable outwardly but inwardly are shallow and selfish (sadly, this is often true even with the "spiritual" ones). But a girl with a servant's heart? That's rare. But that's just what a godly man like Boaz is looking for.
b) The godly woman is pure of heart and modest in her behavior. (3:1-7)
When the time comes for Ruth to express her interest to Boaz, Naomi devises a plan that, to our 21st century eyes, seems a little... odd. Looked at from the perspective of our sex-saturated culture, this idea of uncovering Boaz's feet and lying down on the threshing floor before him might even seem a little suspect. But nothing could be further from the truth.
After all, under Hebraic law there was a far easier (albeit far less reputable) way for a single woman to get a man to marry her. She could seduce him. Then, according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29, he would be required to marry her and he could never divorce her, even though divorce was allowed in other cases. Based on Ruth's character as displayed elsewhere, it's not surprising that Naomi does not suggest such a shameful means to "seek security" (3:1) for Ruth. She does however tell Ruth to pretty herself up a little bit (3:3) but, rather than doing so to draw attention to herself and entice Boaz, Naomi instructs her to lie quietly before him--in other words, to make herself available to him rather than to pursue him (and thus usurp his role as the head in the relationship). How she lets Boaz know she is available is our next subpoint on the godly woman...
c) A godly woman is willing to submit to her husband. (3:8-9)
"Oh, no. He's talking about submission. Time to go." Hang on, girls. Submission doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it's the best way a woman can show her love to her husband (and yes, it is commanded by God for wives; Eph. 5:22-24). It's also what, more than almost anything else, makes a man want to love his wife sacrificially, like Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25; more on that in the next point). That's because men desparately crave respect, especially from the women in their lives. And if submission and respect aren't offered early in the relationship (and--to varying degrees--in other relationships with the men in a woman's life), a woman is not likely to just learn it when she says "I do."
Ruth understands this concept. Having revealed herself to Boaz, she doesn't beg him to marry her and, as we've seen, she doesn't try to seduce him. Instead she asks him, "Spread your covering over your maid" (3:9). The request is a symbolic one. She is asking him to take care of her--to be her provider, her protector, her hero--to spread his cloak over her, as a bird would spread its wing over its chicks to keep them warm and safe. It's an incredibly romantic but entirely pure request. And Boaz responds exactly the way Ruth wants him to. This would be an unbelievably risky thing to do if Boaz were not a man of godly character (which is our fifth point) but, as it is, Ruth reveals strength in her submission to him. Far from losing, she gains exactly what she's looking for: a godly man who can--and does--take very good care of her!
The husband of the Proverbs 31 woman (who would be Boaz based on our little canonical argument above) says of her, "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all" (Prov. 31:29). That sort of nobility doesn't come along every day but it is achievable to the woman who displays godly kindness, modesty and submission as her adornment. And the godly guy who finds a girl like that? Well, he's bound to praise her (and God, since she's a gift from Him--Prov. 18:22) pretty highly and openly, too.
And for more on that godly man, check out the next installment...
http://disciplemakersnc.blogspot.com/2007/10/romancing-ruth-part-1.html )
Okay, so we've seen how godly romance involves imperfect people with needs and how it requires a faithful devotion to God but what does a person with that kind of devotion look like? That is to say, how do they behave in their relationships based on their commitment to God? Well, the answer to that question is found in our next two points...
4. Godly romance requires a woman of godly character.
(Don't worry ladies. The men will get theirs too with the next point. :-) )
As 21st Century American Christians, most of us are sadly just not all that knowledgeable about the Old Testament or the Hebrew roots of our faith. As such, many of us may not even be aware that the ancient Hebrew Bible--while it does contain the same books--is not arranged like our modern Old Testaments. We've seen how Jesus referred to the OT as "the Law [and] the Prophets" (Matt. 5:17). This is actually an abbreviated form of the Hebrew Bible, or the Tanak. The consonants of the word "Tanak" stand for "Torah"--or the Law, "Nebiim"--meaning "prophets"--and "Kethuvim"--meaning "writings." The Law was the five books of Moses, or the Pentateuch (Genesis-Deuteronomy). The prophets included history books as well as the major and minor prophets. The writings included the wisdom literature and the Psalms but also included some of what we consider history books such as Chronicles, Esther and--you guessed it--Ruth. The books in the writings were considered beneficial to memorize and are often recounted at festivals of the Jews, even today (Esther 9:28). (I know this is a little heady but trust me; I'm getting to a point here.)
In the original Hebrew canon, the book of Ruth is located directly following the book of Proverbs a book that ends with a discussion on "an excellent wife" (Prov. 31:10, NASB). The phrase refers to a woman of virtue and is in fact translated "virtuous woman" in some translations. The phrase only appears three times in the Scripture, once more in Proverbs (12:4) and in only one other book--again, you guessed it--Ruth. In Ruth 3:11, Boaz uses this same phrase ("woman of excellence" in NASB) to describe what he knows about Ruth. So consider this: when you read Proverbs and Ruth together in the ancient canonical order, the book of Ruth is introduced with a description of a woman who looks a lot like Ruth. And the book of Ruth serves as a model for the qualities found in the last several verses of Proverbs. You know what that means? That's right! Ruth is the "Proverbs 31 woman" so many books get written about! (Sadly, most of the people writing those books probably don't even realize this or have a clue about the connection between the two books in the older canon.) But, if that's the case, how do the lofty qualities of Proverbs 31 manifest themselves in the life of Ruth? Here are some of her qualities as demonstrated in her story:
a) The godly woman is kind with a servant's heart. (2:1-7, 11-12)
Ruth sees that Naomi was depressed and that they need to eat. So she asks permission to go work and glean in the barley fields for grain for bread (2:2). Naomi apparently hasn't done anything about their situation. She is bitter ("Mara") and seems to have lost all hope. But Ruth wouldn't leave Naomi before and she won't let her starve now. She's going to go and work. The Law allowed for the poor and sojourners in Israel to glean the grain that was dropped during the harvest to provide for their families (Lev. 19:9-10) and so, this is the track Ruth takes to provide for herself and Naomi.
Her kindness to Naomi and her willingness to serve does not go unnoticed. Boaz commends her and treats her very well for it. Apparently, he was attracted to her primarily on the basis of her kind heart (2:5-7, 11). Lots of women are physically desirable outwardly but inwardly are shallow and selfish (sadly, this is often true even with the "spiritual" ones). But a girl with a servant's heart? That's rare. But that's just what a godly man like Boaz is looking for.
b) The godly woman is pure of heart and modest in her behavior. (3:1-7)
When the time comes for Ruth to express her interest to Boaz, Naomi devises a plan that, to our 21st century eyes, seems a little... odd. Looked at from the perspective of our sex-saturated culture, this idea of uncovering Boaz's feet and lying down on the threshing floor before him might even seem a little suspect. But nothing could be further from the truth.
After all, under Hebraic law there was a far easier (albeit far less reputable) way for a single woman to get a man to marry her. She could seduce him. Then, according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29, he would be required to marry her and he could never divorce her, even though divorce was allowed in other cases. Based on Ruth's character as displayed elsewhere, it's not surprising that Naomi does not suggest such a shameful means to "seek security" (3:1) for Ruth. She does however tell Ruth to pretty herself up a little bit (3:3) but, rather than doing so to draw attention to herself and entice Boaz, Naomi instructs her to lie quietly before him--in other words, to make herself available to him rather than to pursue him (and thus usurp his role as the head in the relationship). How she lets Boaz know she is available is our next subpoint on the godly woman...
c) A godly woman is willing to submit to her husband. (3:8-9)
"Oh, no. He's talking about submission. Time to go." Hang on, girls. Submission doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it's the best way a woman can show her love to her husband (and yes, it is commanded by God for wives; Eph. 5:22-24). It's also what, more than almost anything else, makes a man want to love his wife sacrificially, like Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25; more on that in the next point). That's because men desparately crave respect, especially from the women in their lives. And if submission and respect aren't offered early in the relationship (and--to varying degrees--in other relationships with the men in a woman's life), a woman is not likely to just learn it when she says "I do."
Ruth understands this concept. Having revealed herself to Boaz, she doesn't beg him to marry her and, as we've seen, she doesn't try to seduce him. Instead she asks him, "Spread your covering over your maid" (3:9). The request is a symbolic one. She is asking him to take care of her--to be her provider, her protector, her hero--to spread his cloak over her, as a bird would spread its wing over its chicks to keep them warm and safe. It's an incredibly romantic but entirely pure request. And Boaz responds exactly the way Ruth wants him to. This would be an unbelievably risky thing to do if Boaz were not a man of godly character (which is our fifth point) but, as it is, Ruth reveals strength in her submission to him. Far from losing, she gains exactly what she's looking for: a godly man who can--and does--take very good care of her!
The husband of the Proverbs 31 woman (who would be Boaz based on our little canonical argument above) says of her, "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all" (Prov. 31:29). That sort of nobility doesn't come along every day but it is achievable to the woman who displays godly kindness, modesty and submission as her adornment. And the godly guy who finds a girl like that? Well, he's bound to praise her (and God, since she's a gift from Him--Prov. 18:22) pretty highly and openly, too.
And for more on that godly man, check out the next installment...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Romancing Ruth (part 1)
It may seem a little strange that, in the midst of our study of "The Hard Sayings of Jesus" and specifically Jesus' teaching from the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) that we would take that moment to do Disciplemakers' first ever Old Testament book study and cruise through the book of Ruth (and in one class period no less! Not bad considering Acts took the better part of a year). But considering the next two lessons in our major study are both on adultery and sexual sin (Matt. 5:27-30 dealing with lust on Oct. 21 and 5:31-32 with divorce on Oct. 28) it seemed like it might not be too bad an idea to look at romance done right. And that "no OT book study" thing had been bugging me for a while so Ruth seemed a logical choice. So basically having read the whole story from the book, here's what we found out about what it takes to have a godly romance:
1. Godly romances come about from imperfect situations with imperfect people. (1:1-5)
This is an encouragement to me personally. My family situation and history are far from perfect and the mistakes I've made along the way regarding romance are legion (and, in some cases, legend). Many of you could probably say the same thing. But if it took perfect people and perfect situations to make godly romances none of us would even know there was such a thing. Because none of us is perfect. This should be an encouragement to you as well.
In the Scripture passage, Elimelech made a bad decision for his family. He left the promised land because of a famine. The Bible even tells us he was from Bethlehem, which means "House of Bread," a place where one ought to be able to find prosperity if ever there were one. And yet, he took the same path that led the patriarchs into slavery so long ago and went to a foreign land populated by a very pagan people to find food. Instead, he found death for himself, Moabitess wives for his two sons (something that is pretty clearly prohibited in Scripture--a Moabite could not even enter the assembly of Israel; Deut. 23:3) and ultimately, his sons' deaths as well, leaving his widow Naomi alone with her daughters-in-law. Doesn't really look like the picture of godly romance, let alone godly anything, does it? And you know what? It actually gets worse. Not only does godly romance involve imperfect people and situations but...
2. Godly romance involves a need. (1:6-13)
We'll develop this idea a little bit more in the weeks to come but there seems to me to be a pretty clear biblical notion that those whom God has called to marry are people who truly need a spouse in order to see His purposes accomplished in their lives. Paul says avoiding immorality is one reason for this (1 C0r. 7:1-9) and Jesus makes it clear that not everyone can actually be single and live up to God's calling for their lives (Matt. 19:11). So, for those who struggle with immorality and to whom it has not been given to be single, marriage is the norm. In fact, marriage appears first in the book of Genesis as a means of accomplishing God's first command to mankind: "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; and rule..." (Gen. 1:28). This explains why God doesn't think that it's a good thing for Adam to be alone and makes Eve his wife as a "helper suitable to him" (Gen. 2:18). Only through their marriage could God's purpose be accomplished in them.
In Ruth, the need is more immediate and personal. Naomi has no sons to support her in her old age and Orpah and Ruth have no husbands. In that day, not many women had trades so the women faced the very real possibility of not surviving the death of their husbands and sons. No wonder when Naomi returns home to Bethlehem she tells her friends not to call her "Naomi" meaning "pleasant" but "Mara" meaning "bitter" (1:20).
The system of levirite marriage in the Old Testament allowed for the brother of an Israelite who died and left a childless widow to marry the widow and raise up children who would be counted as his brother's. In this way, the inheritance of the tribes of Israel would be secure and none of the tribes or families would be lost (in Judges 20-21 a civil war almost destroys the tribe of Benjamin and it is considered a terrible tragedy, for example). But Naomi had no more sons to give Orpah and Ruth and no husband to even produce any more sons. So she tried to send them away(1:8-13) . Orpah was not happy about it but she obeyed (1:14). But Ruth saw beyond the needs of imperfect people to something greater...
3. Godly romance requires faithful devotion to God. (1:15-18)
Ruth 1:16b gets read at weddings a lot: "Wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God." And with good reason. Just as Ruth's devotion to Naomi meant she would share in all that belonged to her mother-in-law, the good and the bad, so too do a husband and wife make such a commitment "for better or for worse."
But what caused Ruth to be so devoted to Naomi? Well, admittedly the text doesn't say for sure but I think we can find a clue in her devotion to Naomi's God expressed above. No doubt both Orpah and Ruth had started worshipping Yahweh the true God instead of the pagan gods of the Moabites when they married Mahlon and Chilion but Orpah could still turn back to her old lifestyle of pagan worship (1:15). Ruth could not. She had nothing to gain from staying with Naomi but something was different about Ruth that made her want to be with her mother-in-law and be among the people of God. I believe that the only good explanation can be that in her dealings with these worshippers of the one true God, Ruth had entered into a true saving relationship with Him. It changed who she was and left her with no choice but to see her relationship with Naomi through to whatever end. Her character is clearly that of a child of God. In fact, that's the next point on godly romance. But for that, sadly, you'll have to wait until the next installment...
Come back and read the rest soon! And join us Sunday for more on God's view of romance, marriage and sex. We really can do it right and see His blessing on our marriages. And, as we found out in Ruth, God can do more with marriages founded on Him than we could possibly ever imagine.
Love ya!
Barry
1. Godly romances come about from imperfect situations with imperfect people. (1:1-5)
This is an encouragement to me personally. My family situation and history are far from perfect and the mistakes I've made along the way regarding romance are legion (and, in some cases, legend). Many of you could probably say the same thing. But if it took perfect people and perfect situations to make godly romances none of us would even know there was such a thing. Because none of us is perfect. This should be an encouragement to you as well.
In the Scripture passage, Elimelech made a bad decision for his family. He left the promised land because of a famine. The Bible even tells us he was from Bethlehem, which means "House of Bread," a place where one ought to be able to find prosperity if ever there were one. And yet, he took the same path that led the patriarchs into slavery so long ago and went to a foreign land populated by a very pagan people to find food. Instead, he found death for himself, Moabitess wives for his two sons (something that is pretty clearly prohibited in Scripture--a Moabite could not even enter the assembly of Israel; Deut. 23:3) and ultimately, his sons' deaths as well, leaving his widow Naomi alone with her daughters-in-law. Doesn't really look like the picture of godly romance, let alone godly anything, does it? And you know what? It actually gets worse. Not only does godly romance involve imperfect people and situations but...
2. Godly romance involves a need. (1:6-13)
We'll develop this idea a little bit more in the weeks to come but there seems to me to be a pretty clear biblical notion that those whom God has called to marry are people who truly need a spouse in order to see His purposes accomplished in their lives. Paul says avoiding immorality is one reason for this (1 C0r. 7:1-9) and Jesus makes it clear that not everyone can actually be single and live up to God's calling for their lives (Matt. 19:11). So, for those who struggle with immorality and to whom it has not been given to be single, marriage is the norm. In fact, marriage appears first in the book of Genesis as a means of accomplishing God's first command to mankind: "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; and rule..." (Gen. 1:28). This explains why God doesn't think that it's a good thing for Adam to be alone and makes Eve his wife as a "helper suitable to him" (Gen. 2:18). Only through their marriage could God's purpose be accomplished in them.
In Ruth, the need is more immediate and personal. Naomi has no sons to support her in her old age and Orpah and Ruth have no husbands. In that day, not many women had trades so the women faced the very real possibility of not surviving the death of their husbands and sons. No wonder when Naomi returns home to Bethlehem she tells her friends not to call her "Naomi" meaning "pleasant" but "Mara" meaning "bitter" (1:20).
The system of levirite marriage in the Old Testament allowed for the brother of an Israelite who died and left a childless widow to marry the widow and raise up children who would be counted as his brother's. In this way, the inheritance of the tribes of Israel would be secure and none of the tribes or families would be lost (in Judges 20-21 a civil war almost destroys the tribe of Benjamin and it is considered a terrible tragedy, for example). But Naomi had no more sons to give Orpah and Ruth and no husband to even produce any more sons. So she tried to send them away(1:8-13) . Orpah was not happy about it but she obeyed (1:14). But Ruth saw beyond the needs of imperfect people to something greater...
3. Godly romance requires faithful devotion to God. (1:15-18)
Ruth 1:16b gets read at weddings a lot: "Wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God." And with good reason. Just as Ruth's devotion to Naomi meant she would share in all that belonged to her mother-in-law, the good and the bad, so too do a husband and wife make such a commitment "for better or for worse."
But what caused Ruth to be so devoted to Naomi? Well, admittedly the text doesn't say for sure but I think we can find a clue in her devotion to Naomi's God expressed above. No doubt both Orpah and Ruth had started worshipping Yahweh the true God instead of the pagan gods of the Moabites when they married Mahlon and Chilion but Orpah could still turn back to her old lifestyle of pagan worship (1:15). Ruth could not. She had nothing to gain from staying with Naomi but something was different about Ruth that made her want to be with her mother-in-law and be among the people of God. I believe that the only good explanation can be that in her dealings with these worshippers of the one true God, Ruth had entered into a true saving relationship with Him. It changed who she was and left her with no choice but to see her relationship with Naomi through to whatever end. Her character is clearly that of a child of God. In fact, that's the next point on godly romance. But for that, sadly, you'll have to wait until the next installment...
Come back and read the rest soon! And join us Sunday for more on God's view of romance, marriage and sex. We really can do it right and see His blessing on our marriages. And, as we found out in Ruth, God can do more with marriages founded on Him than we could possibly ever imagine.
Love ya!
Barry
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